a blessing from God

I was very disappointed  when I heard the news about questioning the citizenship of Sen. Grace Poe. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it deals with adoption. So what wrong with that? I don't get it

ADOPTION...

Whenever I hear that word, it really strikes me.

I like watching Nathaniel, and I like the role of Sharlene San Pedro.
She's the adopted child of Pokwang and Benjie Paras in the soap opera

Wait... ok so let me introduce myself.

Hi Everyone, you can just simply call me Denz.
I am studying at San Sebastian College-Recoletos Canlubang, an Ab-Communication student
I am new in blogging, kailangan lang sa major subject that's why I created an account, and then I tried doin this, and I hope...may kwenta to. First of all...magsosorry na ako sa mga magiging wrong grammar, spelling, typographical errors at sa lahat ng maling magagawa ko. Sorry po pasensya na :)

More of myself...
I am 17 years old, below 5ft in height. Yes I'm so small.
I graduated elementary and highschool from a catholic school, Canossa School StaRosa. Wherein I learned all the values I am imparting in my life today.

I am an Adopted child.
That's why adoption is a striking word for me

I grew up knowing my situation. My Mom told me that she and daddy doesnt want to hide it...because they want me to grow up being an honest person so they started it.


Thou' my Mommy and Daddy told me about that, nothing changed, sabi ni Mommy, <em>Hindi ka man galing saakin, galing ka naman sa puso ko...hindi man kita ipinanganak, ibinigay ka naman ng Diyos</em>
A five year old kid will not take it seriously. I just laughed when she's told me those words.
According to Mommy, She and Daddy did their very best to have a baby year after their wedding, unfortunately they are not capable. They did all their best,nagsayaw kung saan saan ( I forgot kung saan sila nagsayaw) nag offer ng itlog kay Sta.Clara, nagdasal at humingi ng tulong sa lahat ng Santo...but wala.
After 10 years, I came. At the very least expected. Mom received a phone call from her ninang, asking them if they want to adopt a child. Without any hessitation, they adopted me. Mommy was crying when she's telling me this story...but I am just7 years old so I just listened to her stories. <em>Nagtataka nga ako bakit napaka puti mo non eh, para kang binudburan ng harina, pero pinaliguan ka namen at ang itim mo pala (</em>Okay sige ipamukha pa) <em>since kaka 1 year old lang non ng Kuya Blued mo, kinuha ni Tita Michelle mo mga napaglumaan ni Blued para may magamit ka, abala lahat kame</em> she said... Indeed, thery were very happy, sa wakas matatawag na kameng family. Me Mommy and Daddy. They were the happiest people that time. After 10 long years, may mapapadede na sila, may papaltan ng diaper, may mapaglilibangan na...But I guess, this is a roller coaster ride, after a week I was confined in the hospital, I forgot kung anong sakit...pero basta nagkasakit ako, <em>Ang dameng isinaksak sayo, nakakaawa ka...Doon ko unang nakitang umiyak ng ganoon si daddy mo nagpuntahan lahat ng tito at tita mo, sila lolo at lola mo alalang alala</em>. I was to cry that time, kaso nahihiya ako kay Mommy so I hold my tears. They believe na kaya ako sakitin is because I am not yet receiving the sacrament of baptism. With for 4 sets of Ninong and Ninangs , I am officially part of the church.

Growing up, It was not easy. Yet, Daddy and Mommy gave their best to support my needs. Well, to be honest, I am really a spoiled brat. Whatever I want I can get.
My family, never let me feel that I am an outcast because I'm adopted. My titos and Titas were all loving and caring. Tita Virg, Daddy's elder sister usually takes care of me. She's arriving 6am in the morning and leave me when Mommy and Daddy is already at home. Sabi nila, ang sinasamahan ko lang dati, si Mommy si Daddy at si Tita Virg. Tita Virg was my <em>kakampi all the time</em>, pag ayaw nila daddy, iyakblang ako kay Tita Virg, makukuha ko na. Pag nagagalit sila Mommy, ok hehe lagot kayo kay Tita Virg. Palaging ganoon ang set up.
I know, this is not intentional, but sometimes I feel something...that so called connection by blood. One time I asked myself, <em>Bakit kaya ganon, parang may connection sila within the family na wala ako...</em> Isa sa mga di ko makakalimutan na nangyari na nafeel kong adopted ako eh, ng dahil sa nips. As a kid, super selosa lang talaga. I remeber, si Kuya Blued kasi eh nakikitulog samen, at si Kuya Jeje, after lunch, Daddy shouted kung sino may gusto ng NIPS, and I was like  ME ME ME ME ME ME !!! But then He  refuses si give me some for an unknown reason, and I felt really bad , Itold myself <em>Ampon lang kasi ako kaya di ako binigyan eh sila kuya mga pamangkin niya talaga </em>ANG BABAW DIBA? Pero for a 6 year old child to feel that...oh no....I used to feel that, and It's my fault naman, siguro pyschological factor nadin na alam ko kasi na adopted ako.

After 4 years, sa wakas...Matatawag na akong ATE. Super lakas ko talaga kay God, imagine, Mommy and Daddy was praying for a child for almost 10 years, but hindi nabuntis si Mommy...pero ako... One time ko lang hiniling na sana magkaroon na ako ng kapatid, palagi ko lang siya sinasama sa prayers ko before I sleep...not more than a year pinagbigyan ako. I saw the happiness that my parents felt. The fulfillment of their dreams... Mommy is so excited, Daddy is so nervous while me I was like <em>Hey sister come out of Mom's tummy I'm waiiiiiitiiiing </em>
I was one of the happiest kid on earth, It is really nice to be called ATE
I thought being Ate was chill chill lang...hindi pala.
I got bigger responsibilities...PATIENCE is something you should have
If before I am Mommy and Daddy's priority, now hindi na. And malaking shift yon sa buhay ko
That's the start of my distance between my parents. Because I feel like they dont love me anymore, they always scold me, <em>Ate ka kaya dapat ikaw lagi magbibigay </em>, kahit yung kapatid ko yung nakasira ng isang bagay, palagi parin nasaakin ang sisi. I felt that there is a favoritism happening. Then I start to tell myself na <em>Ampon ka lang kasi di ka na nila love</em>. I seek for attention, kaya naging super pasaway ako.

Undergoing puberty, mas lalo lumalala. Everyday na kame nagaaway ni Mommy, palagi kame magkaaway ng kapatid ko. I used to hate her. I dont like my sister...yun ang alam ko nung mga panahong yon. And dahil nga pasaway eh minsan di na mapigilan at nasusumbatan na ako, <em>Alamin mo lugar mo sa bahay na to....Kilala mo ba kung sino yang inaaway mo ha? Mas may karapatan yan sayo, pwedeng pwede niyang bawiin lahat ng mero  ka</em> ... I always hear that from Daddy, lalo na kapag galitna galit na siya. I know He doesnt mean it, pero that really breaks my heart,my parents may not see it, or anyone ... but God does. I told myself that I need to be brave and strong , para if ever mangyari nga ang sinabi ni Daddy, kaya ko mag isa. Then I learned to be independent. Akala nila, super strong ng personality ko, and I'm not crying over little things, asa kayo... palaka nga iniyakan ko eh

In school, nung highschool... Onti lang nakalaalam. The closest friends...Yung iba nga hindi pa alam. I was really shy to tell everyone about my situation, knowing that there are a lot of judgemental people surrounding me.
Ang nafefeel ko non dati is ang hirap tanggapin yung fact na ampon ako.
Kasi within myself...May kulang. There is something missing.

Minsan naiisip ko, asan na kaya yung nga totoo kong magulang, kung may kapatid ba ako or wala. Ang hirap pala pag di mo alam pinanggalingan mo....ang hirap

God is really working in my life. That time na I felt sobrang may malaking kulang sa buhay ko, that's the time na nappreciate ko ang BCBP (Brotherhood of Christian Businessman and Professionals) a community where Dad and Mom belong. Catholic din ito. First, nagugustuhan ko yung mga ginagawa nila, hanggang sa nag Family retreat kame...which really made a big change not only for me but everyone in the family. MALAKI TALAGA UTANG NA LOOB KO SA BCBP.

When you put God in the center, everything will fall into its place...
I started to tell and be proud that I'm adopted. Dati nung highschool, hiyang hiya ako, nung college, pinagreport about our Autobiography, I told everyone in the class that I'm adopted. For the first time, I spoke it clearly...I guess nashock sila. When I learn to accept my situation, I realized the bad things I've done...Ngayon kahit dehadong dehado ako sa kapatid ko, I'm trying to be nice, para makabawi, because I know she hates me. Nasasabi ko na lahat ng bagay bagay kay Mommy at Daddy.

Sabi nga nila, when you already acceped your flaws , kahit gano kadiin nila sabihin na AMPON KA LANG NAMAN, hindi kana masyadong masasaktan, just smile and say INGGIT KA NAMAN?

Now, It's the time to tell my Mommy and Daddy how grateful I am na sila ang naging parents ko. Sabi nga ni Mommy sa sharing nila <em>Natupad ang kanilang hiling na magkaanak nung dumating ako, hindi man sa paraan na kanilang gusto, ngunit sa paraan ng Diyos</em>. Daddy Mommy I know mababasa niyo to. I really want to thank you, binihisan , pinakain (sobra pa nga eh) pinagaral at minahal niyo po ako kahit hindi niyo ako tunay na anak. I am super proud na adopted ako, knowing that you guys are blessing from God. We're facing a lot of struggles ngayon, dont worry pasasaan man eh, makakaraos din, I love you so much :)

To my highschool friends, sorry kung hindi ko nasabihan yung iba, I guess di palang ako ready that time na magkakasama tayo everyday. But you know guys , you're all God's gift to me, thanks for accepting my flaws. I miss you all and I hope to see you soon.


To my College friends,specially Margie Aki Jannel, thankyou guys. From the start alam niyo na to and never niyo ako jinudge. OK..ANG GAGANDA NIYO. ayan na alam ko namang iniintay niyo yan. I love you guysm LANCE, ATE CANDY, KUYA REMO...Thankyou


PIGS, Baye and Tel
Sorry if di ko naopen up sainyo to. 16 years of friendship pero di ko nasabi, kasi ang alam ko eh alam niyo hehehe big thanks to you guys


To my Titos and Titas, Cousins, A big thankyou for all of you :)




Now... wait di pa tapos
I am asking for some help, I am looking for my biological parents...and I dont know where to start...
I hope you guys can help
All I know is, taga Malaban yung ninang na nagbigay...hay..ok fine. I'll ask mom about the name. Sana matulungan niyo ko...
You can contact me @ 09773461725

GOD BLESS EVERYONE
THANKYOU